Anniversary Reflections

By Volodymyr Kish

I celebrated my 38^th Wedding Anniversary last week, and as is probably typical of most people that achieve that milestone, it spawned a whole flood of memories and nostalgia. As I am reminded, in our day and age, achieving such longevity in a marital relationship is a bit of an achievement. In our large circle of friends, relatives and acquaintances, very few individuals are still with the original love of their lives. Separation, divorce and remarriage are now rather commonplace. I suppose that the fact that my wife Daria and I are still together and for the most part happily married is either testimony to having done something right along the way, or to a strong streak of patience and stubbornness, or a combination of both. Whatever the case, here we are thirty eight years later, still happy with each other’s company, and wondering – has it really been that long?

One thing we are both sure of is the fact that being Ukrainian not only led us to being married in the first place, but has also been a kind of cement that has kept our relationship strong and long-lasting. It is interesting to note, that in my youthful courting days, none of the girls that I dated were Ukrainian, that is, until the last one. In my teen years, I went out with girls that were English, German, Hungarian and Polish. It wasn’t planned that way, but the reality was that I lived on a farm and went to High School in the Niagara Peninsula, where I had little exposure to the Ukrainian community. Eventually, at the age of twenty, while on a University work term in the city of Oshawa, I was dragged out to a Malanka at the local UNF Hall by my Ukrainian landlord, and that is where I met the enchanting dancer that was to become my wife.

Incidentally, she bears the full responsibility of dragging me into Ukrainian organizational life. She insisted that I join the Ukrainian dance group to which she belonged as well as to the local branch of the UNYF (Ukrainian National Youth Federation). In short order I became the Branch President and within two years, I was National President of the whole organization. That began some forty years of activism within the Ukrainian community in Canada with a few pauses along the way to raise three children.

It was also because of her understanding and unqualified support that I was able to take advantage of two separate opportunities to work and live in Ukraine, the first time in 1993-1994 as Country Manager for a large multinational corporation (Seagrams), and later from 2004-2006 as head of a Canadian government CIDA foreign aid program working with Ukrainian Credit Unions. Had she not been Ukrainian, it is doubtful whether those choices would have even been feasible. As it was, the experiences that we gained living in Ukraine enriched both our lives and enabled us to share adventures that were a highlight of our married life. Among those were the wonderful and tumultuous weeks of the Orange Revolution that we saw first-hand on the Maidan in Kyiv, active participants of history in the making.

One of the keys to having a strong marital relationship is of course sharing, and the more things that you have in common and the more aspects in your life that you can share jointly and work together in overcoming challenges or achieving common goals, the stronger your personal bonds will be.

Our involvement in the Ukrainian community has always been a joint one and it continues to the present day. In recent times here in in Oshawa, we have both served on the executive of the local branches of the UNF and the UCC. Our strong ties to the Ukrainian community here has also blessed us with the gift of many strong friendships, and good friends are undoubtedly a good catalyst in creating a healthy social life, which in turn has a positive effect on supporting one’s mental and emotional well-being, which is a prerequisite to a good married life.

There is one other important contribution that my wife makes, and that is to the creative side of my life. I am often stuck trying to think of a relevant and interesting topic for my weekly column for this paper. This week for example, when I lamented at not having any idea of what to write, she said – “why don’t you write about the beneficial role that being Ukrainian has played in the 38 years of our married life?”

It turned out to be a real good suggestion!