Can’t move here, there, anywhere...  

by Walter Derzko and Dr Andrew Zhalko-Tytarenko

A photograph posted on the Yulia Tymoshenko Facebook page September 9, I think, is symbolic of the mood and the fear in Kyiv and across Ukraine. The commentary summarized by one woman says it all: “Туди не можна... і сюди не можна... нікуди не можна...” or “You can’t move here, you can’t move there, you can’t move anywhere.”

Could this be the slogan for a new era of democracy in Ukraine?

A follow up commentary is even more salient: “На жаль, це наше дійсність сьогодення… болить серце, плаче душа... стогне Україна. Банда окупувала територію і весь народ!  Дуже символiчне фото, і дуже вдалий фрагмент... весь народ в образі одного чоловіка! ‘Туди не можна... і сюди не можна... нікуди не можна!’ - золоті слова, доречні”. Loosely translated: Unfortunately, this is our reality today. Our hearts hurt, our souls cry out and Ukraine moans. This band of thieves has occupied our territory and the entire nation, which is symbolised by this one lone man in this symbolic photograph. This phrase: “Can’t move here, there, anywhere” are golden words concludes the commentator.

All week, the Interior Ministry has been marshalling riot police (Berkut) from all around Ukraine into Kyiv and getting ready for the sentencing of former PM Yulia Tymoshenko. Why? Ukrainians appear to be unwanted personae in their own country. Even UOC-MP Patriarch Kirill’s visit to Ukraine was accompanied by thousands of riot police. What does a priest have to be afraid of from his faithful flock?

Fear, however, appears to be evident on both sides of the barricades and police lines, not just on the side of the citizens of Ukraine, but even more so with the regime.

President Viktor Yanukovych fears everything, and hopes especially that the West won’t meddle into his secret off-shore bank accounts, built up from kickbacks from Ukrainian oligarchs.

Before they go to bed each night, most oligarchs hope and pray that their off shore bank accounts in Cyprus, Belize, Switzerland, The Cayman Islands and other places (likely Canada and the USA too) don’t see too much scrutiny from international banking regulators, who are looking for massive money laundering operations.  

Presidential Chief of Staff Serhiy Lyovochkin fears that the people of Ukraine will remember his announcement to dismiss Education Minister Dmytro Tabachnyk beyond two weeks, and hold him to his word indefinitely. And that Yanukovych will be asking why he is now assuming the responsibilities of the President of the country, hiring and firing people. 

MP Yuriy Ivanyushchenko fears that the USA will pronounce him persona non grata again, which he was until April 2011.  After paying a US PR firm over $200,000, he was suddenly given a diplomatic passport and allowed to enter the United States and to negotiate nuclear deals for Ukraine with Westinghouse.  

Dmytro Firtash hopes that Tymoshenko is sentenced as soon as possible and stops trying to uncover all his shady gas deals with RosUkrEnergo and his payoffs to politicians of all ranks. 

Rinat Akhmetov hopes that EU integration happens immediately and fears that he will have to float his IPO’s in Moscow, instead of Frankfurt, London or Paris. 

Patriarch Kirill fears that he will be forced to adhere to the Ten Commandments, especially: “You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour”. He also fears that Ukrainian Orthodox faithful will see through his disguise and will declare him persona non grata in Ukraine for inciting inter-ethnic and inter-confessional conflicts, and deport him just like Ukraine did with Vitali Khramov, leader of Sobol, the pro-Russian Cossacks organization. 

Russian PM Putin fears that Europe will start exporting shale gas to Russia, and that Qatar LNG tankers will come to Odesa. He also fears that boxer Vitali Klitschko will run for Ukrainian President, and will occasionally pose shirtless on TV, as just as Putin does now. 

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev fears that Putin will forget his name, and who he was in 2008-2012. He also fears that he will meet Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili, and will have no bodyguards with him. 

MP Bohdan Boyko fears that prices for oil drilling platforms he approved will be published in the public domain. He also fears that there will be breathalysers installed at the entrance to Cabinet of Ministers meetings. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJHxmCZ2m0k starting in the 7th minute).

Parliament Speaker Volodymyr Lytvyn fears that someone will confuse him with a wax figure - speechless, motionless, but looking almost human. 

Lyovochkyn also fears that Yanukovych will not be employed as President in “Lyovochkin and Firtash Holdings BV”, and in its division “President’s Administration, Inc.” 

PM Mykola Azarov fears that after he will be sacked, the court hearings on his case of abuse of power will be presided over by Judge Rodian Kireyev, and will be conducted in Ukrainian.