The Joy of Travelling within Ukraine

By Adria Pelensky

Last week, I decided to travel to the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, or as it is more affectionately known as: Krym. A somewhat remote destination point from Lviv, but since it was a work-related venture and I had never been to the exotic peninsula before, I figured that it was best to travel sooner rather than later.

For those that have never traveled within Ukraine by means of train or bus, consider yourself lucky. Unless you have felt the awkward silence of a stranger in your cabin (known as a coup), flabbergasted by the logic of time scheduling or felt the ulcer swelling in your gut as your frustration mounts when dealing with ticket-issuing agents, you haven’t experienced Ukraine to its fullest.

Travelling with two of my Canadian-born friends, the three of us where off on quite the adventure. Before we departed, I stocked up on some necessary provisions for the long ride including toilet paper, beer and snacks. For toilet paper, I decided against Fantasia brand newsprint rolls and splurge on the regular cotton-white variety. Knowing better, a sales lady refused my choice as I obviously wanted bright purple floral scented rolls. Note that the four-pack she was waving at me was open and only had three rolls. We proceeded to argue over what I wanted over the next few minutes, and ultimately, I went over to the neighbouring stand out of spite to show my support for an alternate sales approach. Whatever happened to “the customer is always right”? I stocked up on travelling goods and we were off.

This was my virgin train ride experience in Ukraine. I had traveled many times before in Europe, but never on an over-night ride like this. Of course, I was the sacrificial lamb entering our coup first, to which I was greeted with great hostility and anger by the fourth member of our cabin. Apparently, I stood on this stranger’s freshly made bed with crisp white linens. As the non-confrontational Canadian, I tried to correct him of his obvious mistake regarding my actions, but he wasn’t having it and stormed out. Off to a great start! My buddies and I quickly remade his bed, changing the alleged soiled linens. Upon return, his demeanor changed as he saw our beers in-hand. Miraculously he became friendly when we offered him libations. Soon we were toasting and chatting with our new Kyivyan friend Zhenya. Survival Tip #1: always have alcoholic products on-hand to limit any possible discomfort.

Other than the initial greeting, the trip to Krym was a reasonable and cheap way to travel. The cabins are cozy, the linens are seemingly clean and you’re given vanity packs for the toilet. Strangely, no consideration is made for oral hygiene, not even a stick of “Juicy Fruit” gum. In actuality, it was the trek back to Lviv that nearly killed us (not literally, but with frustration and exhaustion). Arriving at the Simferopol train station just after noon, we hoped to book an evening train to Kyiv. Niet. According to one of the ticket issuing agents, all six trains departing that day were booked solid, astounding because she didn’t even consult her computer. Another agent (who used the valuable tool known as a computer) was able to find a couple of seats. Since there were three of us, it wasn’t a realistic option, but I was left irritated by the apathy. An agent can choose or refuse the sale of a ticket based on his/her mood. I know that we’re not the only ones to have experienced this type of customer service, because upon return to Lviv, I was advised in-future to just pay the on-site train agent because there are always spaces available. What a racket! Survival Tip #2: when in-need of a train ticket, approach the on-site train agent, not the ticket agent. Trains are typically about one third empty.

As the train was “full”, our next option was the bus. At less than 800 km, we assumed a bus ride to Kyiv would take 9, maybe 10 hours maximum. Never assume anything in Ukraine when it comes to travel. It took over 16 hours. We had no choice, and when the redeeming qualities of this travel are scalding hot tea and a marathon of Wayan Brothers movies, you can imagine the rather horrific ride. Arriving in the early morning on the fringe of Kyiv, we traveled from the bus station by marshrutka to the main train station.  Guess what other tickets were sold out? – seats on the direct Kyiv-Lviv train. My travel buddy and I reasoned (with Canadian logic) that an available “express” train from Kyiv to Rivne, more than halfway to Lviv, could not take more than 3 hours. Wrong again. Once catching this train and breathe after a frantic run, I studied the ticket details and read that this “express” would take over 7 hours. Survival Tip #3: Do not associate Canadian travel-time with Ukrainian travel-time when it comes to kilometers per hour. Our jaunt concluded with a brief 4 hour bus ride from Rivne to Lviv.

When it comes to travel in Ukraine: don’t assume anything; don’t use Canadian logic; expect delays and poor service. It’s best to just go with the flow, and make sure you have some great travel companions, because you will have some great stories and memories at trips-end. Now I can say with great satisfaction I have been to 18 of Ukraine’s oblasts… sadly, unintentionally in a single trip.

Adria Pelensky is a Canadian and CIDA intern as Project Coordinator, Community Development in Ukraine.