This and That

By Walter Kish

This week’s column is a mish-mash of trivia, observations and miscellaneous information about life in Ukraine that I have saved up in case of weeks like this when the muse of inspiration hasn’t blessed me with any particular theme to rant about.  So here goes.

1.  When I first came to Ukraine there was no such thing as potato chips (one of my unfortunate addictions) on sale in the state-owned stores in Ukraine.  There were elongated, rectangular-shaped potato-based crisps that came in a small box and faintly resembled chips.  But, they were hardly an adequate substitute for a potato chip aficionado. Nowadays, potato chips in the size and shape that we are so familiar with are commonplace everywhere in Ukraine.  However, to those accustomed to North American tastes, the flavours they come in are somewhat strange; the most popular are mushroom, chicken, bacon, cheese and hot pepper.  Plain, regular, salted chips are nowhere to be had.  If your addiction runs to salt and vinegar, barbecue or ketchup, you are out of luck.  And if you are looking for ripple chips, forget it – they are not in the Ukrainian junk-food repertoire.

2. The most widely used form of public transport in Ukraine is a marshrutka.  These are typically mini-bus type vehicles of various sizes capable of accommodating anywhere from 10 to 20 people.  In practice this translates (particularly in rush hour) to as many people as you can cram in, usually two to three times the legal capacity.  Riding in one of these involves closer and more intimate contact than most Ukrainian couples have in their married relationships. Most of these vehicles are old and decrepit, and the drivers assume that traffic signals and rules of the road are but a nuisance intended for everyone else but them.  Their saving grace is that they are incredibly cheap (one or two hryvnias or about 25 to 50 cents). There is a marshrutka that goes pretty well anywhere, and it will pick you up and drop you off anywhere you want along its route.

3. Ukrainians have the strangest concept of style when it comes to shoes.  Most men wear long pointy shoes. If they were any longer, they would resemble curled-up slippers from the Arabian Nights.  As for the ladies, it seems the higher the heels the better.  I am constantly amazed at the three- and four- inch heels that most of the fairer sex seems to sport here.  What is more amazing is how they can maneuver in them around the cobblestone streets that are so common in Ukraine’s cities.  Even more astounding is the fact that they wear them year round, even in winter, despite the icy and slush-filled streets and sidewalks.

4. Although Western aircraft such as Boeing and Airbus are becoming more common in Ukraine, most domestic flights still run on Soviet-era Yak and Antonov aircraft.  They are the standard domestic commuter planes with a capacity of some 40 to 60 passengers.  The most common are the Antonov 24, a twin propeller plane and the Yak 42, which, although a jet plane, is pretty long in the tooth.  Most appear to be at least 20 or 30 years old, with minimal comforts, overhead luggage space or leg room.  The Antonov 24 is one of the noisiest planes I have ever been on, and if you are sitting up front near the engines, the vibrations are enough to shake the fillings out of your teeth.  One of the distinctive aspects of the Yak 42 is that you board through a ramp that drops down at the rear of the plane.  In-flight service consists of a stewardess handing out candies at take-off and landing, and if you are lucky, water may be served at some point during the flight.  The pluses are that flights are quite cheap by Western standards, and you get your luggage on arrival faster than anywhere I’ve ever flown.

5. Ukrainians love coffee and drink it in great quantities, but it is hard to get a cup of brewed coffee with cream and sugar, the standard North American type.  They prefer the Middle Eastern variety–very strong espresso or Turkish coffee served in mini cups, usually black and with a lot of sugar.  It is common to see locals deposit five or six teaspoons of sugar into a small cup of coffee.  Most waiters find my request for milk or cream to go with my coffee to be at best quaint or just outright strange.  It seems only children here take milk in their coffee.  Ironically, in the absence of chains such as Starbucks or Tim Hortons, the best place to get a cup of coffee such as we are used to in Canada, is at the local McDonalds!

Such is life in Ukraine.