Hryts on Leadership

By Walter Kish

Confused as ever by the incomprehensible shenanigans of contemporary Ukrainian politics, I recently turned to my favourite political analyst for some insight as to what is going on.  I speak of course of Hryts, my elderly, self-taught and curmudgeonly cousin from the languid, pastoral little village of Pidkamin, well known for producing the most pungent horseradish in the Brody region. Hryts claims that the potent horseradish is also the reason for the irascibility of most of the inhabitants of Pidkamin, but I think it has more to do with the fact that the total income of all the villagers would amount to about one average wage here in Canada.   There was not a lot of profit margin on the selling of horseradish, or for that matter, most anything else that grew in Pidkamin.

In any case, of late, I had become particularly dismayed by Yushchenko’s continual undermining of Prime Minister Tymoshenko’s efforts at radically changing the corrupt and self-serving status quo.  It seems like he was far more interested in making accommodations with the oligarchs and the Party of Regions than implementing the long promised and overdue reforms touted during the Orange Revolution. 

Hryts only chuckled when I related these musings to him.

“My, my you are naпve.  I think you must be adding to much low-fat sour cream to your borshcht!”

“What do you mean?” I inquired.

“Yushchenko can’t spell orange in any of the languages he speaks!  It’s not in his vocabulary.”

“I don’t understand” I continued puzzled as ever by his rustic insight.  “He’s the leader of the country.  He promised reform. He made commitments.”

“Leader!?” Hryts began laughing derisively.  “Do you know what Yushchenko was before he became President?”

“I think he was a banker” I replied.

“Correct.  A banker and before that he was an accountant.  So my little smarkach, you with the university education – how many great leaders throughout history do you know of who have been accountants or bankers?”

I could almost see the smirk on his face despite the fact that we were talking by telephone.

But he was right, as much as I thought about it, I couldn’t think of a single example!

“Look at the real leaders that we have had in Ukrainian history,” he continued.

“Khmelnytskyj and Mazepa studied philosophy and fine arts in Jesuit colleges. Petliura studied to be a priest.  Bandera studied agriculture.  Shukhevych was a civil engineer. Konovalets was a lawyer and Melnyk was a soldier.  Chornovil was a journalist.  Even Kuchma was a rocket engineer.  All of them had backgrounds that gave them some understanding of either how the real world works or how ideas make people do the things they do.  Yushchenko is an accountant to the core and the only thing he understands is how numbers work.  If I had money, I would hire him to manage it, but asking him to run a country is like asking my better half Yevdokia to take a vow of silence! It’s just unnatural.”

“I think I see what you mean.” I said, while at the same time knowing that Yevdokia, who managed to overhear everything said under her roof would undoubtedly have her pound of revenge over that last comment.

“One, last question, Hrytsiu” I continued, “By your line of reasoning how would you then assess Yulia Tymoshenko as a leader?”

When he stopped laughing, I heard Hryts exclaim – “Why she has a perfect background to be a leader.  She made her first fortune running a video rental business.  She learned very quickly what people want to see and hear!”

As usual, Hryts had the last word.  There was nothing I could add.